i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize