Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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