We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
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the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
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I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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