Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize