We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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