Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Randomize
Follow @tfln