Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a fireplace last night.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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