Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize