imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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