I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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