i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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