I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
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