people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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