I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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