By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize