i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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