and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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