I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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