walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I can't turn off my feet"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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