"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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