yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
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We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
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WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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