I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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