Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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