Betty ford says i'm here all night
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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