I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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