Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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