Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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