I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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