the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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