:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize