She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize