Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize