I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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