I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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