what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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