We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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