so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
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You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
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Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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