Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize