Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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