i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
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WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
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I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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