you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize