Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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