dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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