Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize