This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
