The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize