You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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