Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize