I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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