I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
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Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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